Tim Dorsey on cruises

This is from Tim Dorsey's "Atomic Lobster":


“You’ve taken a cruise, right?” Coleman shook his head.
“You’re kidding. I thought of all people.”
“I haven’t been on one, okay?”
“Familiar with Las Vegas?”
“Of course.”
“Add a rudder and subtract government. The whole country’s into excess, even when fighting excess, and cruises are the nation’s bad habits on steroids. All the things you’re not supposed to do on land you’re supposed to do on a cruise because it’s one of America’s official responsibility-free zones, like Mardi Gras, New Year’s Eve or Courtney Love. Twenty-four-hour free buffets all over the place, raunchy stage shows, countless bars that won’t cut you off as long as you can knee-walk into a casino and blow the mortgage—”

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Only correction that I know of is that there are apparently not twenty-four-hour free buffets. Some people on the Holland America forum on Cruise Critics say that the dining facilities shut down around 9 pm -- folks were complaining because they'd get back late from an excursion and couldn't find anywhere to eat except via room service.

Anyway, thank you, Doug Miller, for getting me to read Tim Dorsey.