China generally: 1 -- The "Hello" people

Street vendors met us at every stop with watches and souvenirs and postcards to sell. They had just enough English to engage a customer -- "Hello", "Rolex" (often pronounced "Lolex", though one vendor conscientiously rolled the 'r' as if he were momentarily Spanish), a wide variety of number words, and, of course, "dollah", though the yuan (6.25 yuan to the US dollar) was preferred. "Yuan" is pronounced pretty much like "UN", which is close to "US", so there was often confusion over which currency was being discussed.

For those vendors without the number vocabulary, price negotiations were carried out on paper -- the vendor scribbles an opening price, the customer scribbles a counter-offer, the vendor looks outraged and counters the counter, and so forth ad infinitum or until an agreement is reached.

Making eye contact with a street vendor or responding with more than a brusque "No!" was a guarantee of being harangued for at least a block with lower prices and additional merchandise. One tour passenger who stayed haggling for so long that he held up the bus as we left the kungfu show (Beijing Day 2) eventually climbed on board with seven "Rolexes" he got for $10. (The tourist was out $10 for watches he didn't want, but he felt triumphant because the vendor had started out asking $20 for one watch. The vendor probably felt triumphant because the watches had cost him something like 25 cents apiece.)

Chinese street vendors are distinctly tougher than those I've met in other countries, and more adept at using the prevailing emotional tone to make a sale. You want to laugh at him? Fine, he'll laugh right along with you, haggling all the while, playing the clown without missing a beat. Are you admiring a particular "100% silk" scarf? (One fellow passenger actually seemed to believe that labels on scarves in street stalls meant what they said.) The vendor will pull out three more in the same color palette, plus some "100% pashmina" shawls to match, generating new deals, rejecting counter-offers, and assuring you that the items are all "very beautiful for you" as she goes.

If we get into a trade war with China, only patriotism will allow me to hope we can win.