Abdul the Nubian

When I heard the word "Nubian", it brought to mind gigantic black-skinned grim-faced muscular types equally adept at guarding emperors or playing power forward in the NBA. Not necessarily. "My name is Abdul, and I am a Nubian from Aswan," our Egyptian guide said, introducing himself to our bus. "Nubian means I have dark skin, curly hair, a big nose, and a big mouth. I just got a hair cut, so you'll have to trust me on that, everything else you can see." Slightly below average height, he was anything but grim -- when I asked him to teach me to count to three in Arabic, he had me repeat three words after him several times, praising my pronunciation. Then he grinned and told me I had just said, "I love you."

He took excellent care of us, always arranging his on-scene talks so we could stand in the shade while we listened (which, of course, usually meant he stood in the sun to talk) and herding us diplomaticly so we didn't get lost in the crowds or overwhelmed by the vendors. He walked up and down the bus aisle during the four hour bus trips to and from Luxor to let individuals ask him about anything from history, of which Egypt has more than just about anyone, to politics -- he thinks the upcoming national elections will come down to three candidates, of whom the radical conservative to the right of the Muslim Brotherhood is not one. He referred to him as "the guy with the beard", as ubiquitous election posters show him, and passed along gossip that the man's mother may not be a citizen. He didn't do as well with religion questions. Not that he was argumentative or hostile, but listening to him and his interlocutors talk past one another was a sad lesson in the limits of human communication.

Example:
What the passenger said: Do you think the new government will institute Sharia law in Egypt?"

What the passenger meant: Do you think the new government will turn Egypt into Afghanistan under the Taliban?

What Abdul heard: Do you think the new government will incorporate some Islamic principles into how it runs the country?"

To which Abdul answered: Yes, it seems likely to me that they will. After all, 75% of Egyptians are Muslims.

Passenger: So you expect education for women to be banned?

Abdul: What? Of course not! My parents are illiterate, but all of us, my three brothers AND my three sisters and me , have university educations!

Passenger: But under Sharia law...

Eventually that conversation petered out in mutual frustration.

But through it all, Abdul kept a good-natured cheerfulness and relaxed confidence. He probably would have made a poor harem guard -- too much smiling, not enough musculature -- but as a tour guide, he was top-notch.